Old-Timey UFC Guy Stages Ill-Fated Comeback

Bob Meyrowitz, after selling what turned out to be the most popular brand in one of the fastest growing forms of entertainment to Zuffa, seems to have found a magic lamp. After rubbing furiously, a genie popped out and I guess it granted him his wish to do it all over again, because Meyrowitz (who co-founded the UFC) has announced the development of a new MMA promotion.

Unfortunately, the genie must be from 1993, because the promotional material for "YAMMA Pit Fighting" reads like something from the dark ages of the sport. "Redefining MMA. On the street it's against the law. In the pit there is no law. THEY'RE BACK!!!!!!"

"In the pit there is no law?" That's the kind of talk that gets you banned in all 50, son. And who, exactly, is "BACK!!!!!!"? Because if it's Paul Varelans, you can count me out...

...Or can you?

Further dating Meyrowitz's new endeavor is the likelihood that his "YAMMA Pit Fighting" will closely resemble (or is, by my prediction) "YAMA," a show he was shopping around to cable networks that pitted two teams with different fighting styles against each other. Meyrowitz stated that they weren't fostering competition between two individuals, necessarily, but between "two totally different fighting styles." Except that this has already been done (by him), and we all learned our lesson: you don't bring a single boxing glove to an MMA fight (sorry Art Jimmerson).

The big hook here, though, seems to be the implementation of a new type of ring, which YPF claims will change the face of the sport, but the exact nature of the new ring is currently under wraps. However, there may be a clue in the quote "In the pit there is no law." I think, guys, it might take place in a pit. Maybe, though, its like a riddle or a trick, and "pit" is code. For example, one might see that "pit," spelled backwards, is "tip." As in the tip of Zuffa's million dollar wang. Inserted into YPF's brown eye.
For Oxford University, this is Walter Cronkite.