Super List: EliteXC "Heat" part 2

Further thoughts on the rest of Saturday's EliteXC card...

1. There's no pleasing some people.
While certain writers have decried putting Kimbo into a fight where he was, to those without giant dollar signs blocking their vision, over-matched, they complain in the same breath that the still-improving Carano is handled with "kids' gloves." It seems that for some, bringing a fighter through the ranks slowly is only appropriate as an idea in retrospect, after the developing fighter has already crash-and-burned.

The fact is that at 16-2-1 heading into the contest, Kelly Kobold was a tough, experienced opponent for Carano. Carano's decision win over Kobold pushed her record to 7-0-0 against competition with a collective record (at the time of their respective fights) of 36-10-1. Put another way, her opposition held a .766 win average. This is noteworthy when you consider that Tara Larosa (one of Carano's biggest critics who has, among other things, accused Carano of being fed opponents) fought her first seven fights against opposition with a collective record at the time of 24-9-0 (that's an average of .727).

Looking at these numbers, we can see that, in her fledgling career, Carano has performed just as well against competition just as stiff as Larosa during her early years. While her peers could begrudge EliteXC officials and fans for taking to the fighting bombshell so quickly (though they probably shouldn't--welcome to the real world, pretty people have it easier), at a certain point Carano's detractors have to acknowledge that her in-cage performances deserve just as much respect as their own.

And while it's true that to deny audiences a fight between Carano and Cristiane Santos--a fighter who is possessed of striking skills just as good and likely better than Carano--would be an injustice to both the fighters and fans, it's an unlikely eventuality. Both fighters have benefited from some very positive public exposure, and with Santos now 2-0-0 following a nearly two year break from the sport, some time soon rather than last week is the right time for this fight to happen.

2. "Sloppy bastards."
"Who are Benji Radach and Murilo Rua?"
I'm a big fan of Radach but, short of a total overhaul, its hard to imagine that the approach that earned him number one contender status over Rua could likewise overcome the newly disciplined, stalking style of champion Robbie Lawler.

3. Security guard from Jerry Springer show wins heavyweight MMA fight.
After two losses to Tim Sylvia and a couple of underwhelming follow up acts (those would be the TKO win over Marcio Cruz, and his appearance on Jerry Springer as a guest security guard) Andrei Arlovski is now rapidly regaining the momentum and mystique he enjoyed as UFC heavyweight champion. With explosive KO victories over former IFL kingpins Ben Rothwell and most recently Roy Nelson, we finally have an answer to that nagging question: could "The Black Dragon" Ron Van Clief have led Andrei Arlovski and a team of ethnically-themed super fighters dubbed The Des Moines Silver Monkeys to an IFL championship?

All Van Cliefs aside, Arlovski may have shown a resurgent killer instinct, but also a certain penchant for landing underneath his opponents in a scramble. For Rothwell it happened when Arlovski dropped back for a sloppy heel hook. In his fight last Saturday, Nelson used his preternatural spherical qualities to reverse Arlovski during a takedown. He also smothered Arlovski with his massive stomach, which was good for some laughs. Likewise on display was Arlovski's habit of starting out slow, as he took a full round or so in both the Nelson and Rothwell fight before he could really pull the trigger. Both of these qualities are huge liabilities when considering a fight with Fedor Emelienenko, whose dynamic grappling and concussive strikes allow him to go from zero to beating the shit out of Tim Sylva in 36 seconds flat.

4. Now 70% less goofy looking.
Conor Heun, besides earning a cash bonus for his win over Edson Berto, got himself a little upgrade in the Profile Picture Department of Sherdog.com.

Prior to his fight Saturday, Heun was depicted as something like Keanu Reeves' retarded younger brother, grimacing as he soils himself and gets punched in the chest (exhibit A).

exhibit A. "Stranger Danger!" Heun exclaimed as he shied away from his attacker.

Immediately following his win, though, Heun's picture had been changed to show him as determined, combat ready, and only mildly cross-eyed (exhibit B).

exhibit B. Eyes are crossing...every so slightly...

Good job everyone.

Incidentally, Marcus Hicks lost his last high-profile fight to Jamie Varner, so he still has to be immortalized in Sherdog's Fight Finder as Black Quasimodo.

"Sanctuary and so forth!"

Super List: EliteXC "Heat" part 1

Don't believe everything you read. Or, when it comes to MMA forums, maybe just don't bother reading at all. This past Saturday saw EliteXC make its third foray onto network television. One unconscious Kimbo Slice later, and hysterical predictions on the future of EliteXC, Kimbo, and Seth Petruzelli run rampant through MMA fandom. The forums on Sherdog were full of know-it-alls with itchy keyboard-fingers who couldn't wait to proclaim their great joy at Kimbo's demise, wag their fingers while declaring that they had predicted this fall from grace all along, and sagely foretell the future of EliteXC.
The dubious honor of predicting an MMA novice's eventual loss aside, the message boards revealed a wealth (or maybe an "infestation" would be more appropriate) of venomous and delusional misconceptions.
For the first half of this two-part Super List, I'll address the most common ravings from the internet lunatics stemming from the Kimbo-Petruzelli fight.

1. "Kimbo should quit before he gets really hurt!"
Insert obligatory "LOL" as you like.

A knockout loss is a shocking thing, sometimes made more horrifying if it comes unexpectedly, but it's a fact of MMA. And everyone loses sometime, especially within their first four fights. If the advice of cackling MMA fans were taken to heart, then fighters like Denis Kang, Wanderlei Silva, Jason Miller, Andrei Arlovski, Tito Ortiz, Guy Mezger, and Seth Petruzelli himself should have called it quits years ago.

And for those of you who want to say that it was Kimbo losing to a smaller fighter that's the problem, then maybe you should write to Ken Shamrock, Jorge Santiago, Matt Hughes, Yushin Okami, and Kazuyuki Fujita, and let them know that they should have stopped competing after losing to a fighter in a lower weight class before they really got hurt, too.

2. "Finally, Kimbo Slice will go away! Go back to the crack house!"
Insert closet (and not-so-closet) prejudice as you like.

Kimbo Slice deserves infinitely more respect from both fans and professionals. There is absolutely no reason to wish on him a total career-collapse. For someone like Frank Mir to say that he has no respect for Kimbo because Kimbo disrespects the sport is nothing less than absolutely outrageous. Kimbo has shown deference to the sport during press conferences, enlisted the training services of MMA legend Bas Rutten, never hypes up fights by invoking "street cred," is cordial and professional during interviews, and is gentlemanly in defeat. I doubt that anyone could find him saying or doing anything more condemnable than what any other average MMA fighter has said or done. Frankly, for fans and professionals to disrespect and hate Kimbo despite his exemplary behavior comes off as racist. That "crack house" comment is a direct quote, by the way.

For fans and other fighters to begrudge Kimbo his fame on the basis of seniority is likewise ridiculous. If these people got their wish, then Akira Shoji would headline a night of fights instead of Rodrigo Nogueira, and Travis Fulton would draw a higher paycheck than Anderson Silva. Guys, it just doesn't make a god-damn lick of sense.

3. "Kimbo got exposed!"
Only if you're missing half a brain.

Everyone among the MMA-educated, including Kimbo himself, has had no illusions about his place in MMA. He's a decent prospect who has a marketable persona and some appreciable charisma. Losing to a solid journeyman like Seth Petruzelli doesn't mean much of anything except that Kimbo isn't invincible, still needs work, and may have a slightly weak jaw. And even that last assessment might not be entirely true.

The last-minute nature of the fight probably filled both Kimbo and Petruzelli with a ton of nervous tension. The more nervous a fighter is, the easier it is to knock him out (as in Marvin Eastman's loss to Travis Lutter, or Bo Cantrell's loss to Kimbo, for that matter). It's pretty likely that Kimbo's got a bit more fight in him than he displayed this last weekend.

4. "Mauro Renallo is an excuse-making idiot with his nose up EliteXC's collective asshole."
Well I--! Uh...eh.

People like Renallo and the Shaws are what really ruin Kimbo. They put undue pressure on him to be the next big thing, and, as exemplified in Renallo's post-fight comments, desperately make excuses while Kimbo should be allowed to gracefully accept defeat. People inevitably equate the words of these spokesmen with Kimbo's own opinions, and suddenly everyone resents Kimbo himself for making excuses and proclaiming himself to be a great fighter. It's unfair to Kimbo, and it's a huge pain for the fans to listen to.

5. "I wish Ken Shamrock could've fought. Then he could have got the KO."
Seriously? Ken Shamrock has won by TKO only twice in a 15 year career. The first happened against Alexander Otsuka, who currently has a record of 4-13-0, and the second was four years ago over fellow elder-statesman Kimo Leopoldo, who has lost four of his last five fights. Furthermore, Shamrock has displayed a woeful reaction time and poor game-planning in his last five fights, all of which he lost by TKO in the first round.

By contrast, nine of Petruzelli's ten wins have come by TKO. He's never been knocked out, and still retains natural peak-athleticism. Petruzelli would have been a more dangerous opponent for Kimbo to begin with, and has always had a far better chance of beating Kimbo than Shamrock did. Set aside any delusions of pugilistic glory for Shamrock, and rest assured that if Ken "Little Brittle" Shamrock hadn't irrevocably injured himself in the hours leading up to the fight that things would have gone exactly as Shaw had dreamed them in his pretty little head.

6. "EliteXC is finished! LOLARRRGHUNUNGHUHUHUNGUNG!"
Why should EliteXC be finished? Going in to Saturday night, the whole question of EliteXC's future hung on whether or not they would have a successful night of ratings. Gina Carano and Kimbo Slice, the promotion's two biggest attractions, showed up to fight as promised. So why, why in the hell, I ask you, would the outcome of the last fight on a live telecast effect the ratings?

Sure enough, word on the ratings for "Heat" have been very positive. Both Sherdog and MMAWeekly report that the show placed first among males 18-34 and 18-49, against MLB playoffs, college football, and a replay of UFC pay-per-views on Spike. And those numbers don't even include the time that Kimbo was on screen. And while Kimbo's tarnished aura might have thrown Shaw and company for a loop, Kimbo on the comeback trail doesn't make for such a bad story, either. The only way they could screw this up is if they try to explain the loss away.

Ultimately, in terms of production and audience interest, the promotion is steadily improving, and signing a carnival barker like Tito Ortiz could only help at this point. The very public argument between Jared Shaw and KJ Noons' management, plus Antonio Silva's positive steroid test, seemed to be the vomit-icing on a money-hemorrhaging turd cake, but things are looking up. EliteXC fans have upgraded to peanut butter icing on a cabbage cake.


"A what-cake?"

7. "Seth Petruzelli is going to be getting a call from Dana White!"
Why? According to the same people who shout-type this garbage, Kimbo Slice is a bum. So why would Dana white give Petruzelli a contract to fight in MMA's number one promotion for beating somebody who was no good anyway? I understand that some people imagine Dana White would do this as a sign of appreciation, but: 1. Dana White isn't so swell a guy. 2. EliteXC is already floundering, and I doubt Dana White would bother giving much credit to Petruzelli if the promotion went under. And 3. Petruzelli was already in the UFC, and performed rather poorly. You could argue that he has improved, and that his notoriety would bring a greater viewership, but given the that the UFC is loathe to mention other fight promotions, explaining why any UFC fan should care about Petruzelli would prove difficult.

And even if he got the offer, maybe going back to the UFC wouldn't be the best thing for Petruzelli. The fact is, he knocked out a very popular but very inexperienced fighter, and is probably not well enough equipped to wade into the deeper waters of the UFC light-heavyweight division. If he did, he would probably be relegated to undercard status, with pay to match. In a promotion like EliteXC or Strikeforce, however, his notoriety is much more palpable, and could probably lead to much more immediate rewards.

8. The Troy Waugh Show.
"Welcome to CBS, EliteXC style! Let's give the millions of fans watching what the came to see!" What the hell, Troy? Aren't you supposed to tell them to follow the rules or something? He's got pretty good take down defense, though.


Troy "The Grimace" Waugh putting the screw face to Kimbo in order to fend off the attack.